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On Friday, I closed my laptop just a few minutes after the hour and closed the door to my home office. Trudging downstairs, I felt the weight of the day fully press on my shoulders. I was exhausted, overwhelmed, and oh-so-ready for the weekend. This isn’t normally how my weekends start off, but this day it did. Somewhere in between content batching, training my team, household duties, and taking care of a very sick three-year-old, I’d forgotten to take time for myself. And I was definitely feeling the effects of it.
I can always tell when I’ve neglected myself for too long. My patience becomes increasingly thin, and it feels as if I’m being crushed under an immense amount of pressure and pulled in all directions at once. If you’ve ever felt this way, my sympathies. It is, in no way, a fun way to feel.
Despite acknowledging I’d forgotten to take time for myself the previous week, I also knew if I didn’t do anything about it, that icky, heavy feeling would only get worse. I couldn’t have that, so I dedicated my weekend to self-care recovery which looks like how it sounds: allowing myself time to relax, process, and recover from the strenuous week I’d had. Below are my favorite ways to reset after a hard week.
Leave Work Behind
I love my job. So much so that I have to put limits on when I work because if I don’t, I will work for hours straight without pause. One of the easiest ways for me to set aside work and make sure I’m not doing work-related tasks on my days off is to 1) mute notifications on my phone for any work-related apps, and 2) close the door to my home office. My notifications stay on during the week, and my office door is always open, but on the weekends, these two things are a big no-no.
By physically putting some form a barrier between myself and my work, I’m able to go about my day without being interrupted by email notifications from clients or be tempted to hop on my laptop whenever I pass by my office. It plays into the idea of “out of sight, out of mind.” This helps reinforce work-life balance so that I can be more present with my family.
Meditation, Breathwork, & the Power of Movement
Although I don’t meditate as often as I wish I did (healthier habits are a work in progress), I do find that both meditation and breathwork help me tremendously whenever I’m feeling overwhelmed. In therapy, I learned that anxiety and stress are part of a two-fold process. The first blast of anxiety/stress comes from the initial flood of cortisol in our brains when something triggers our fight or flight response. An example that my therapist loves to use is this:
Say you’re hiking in the forest and all of a sudden, you hear something rustling in the bushes. Immediately, you start to create scenarios of what it could be: mountain lion, bear, rabid dog. Before you were even able to form a thought, your brain flooded your body with cortisol. There are two options with how to respond: panic and run or take a deep breath and remain calm. (Cortisol release can be brought on by more than just a mysterious rustling in the bushes. Tight work deadlines, pending bill payments, an upcoming dentist appointment, and speaking events can have the same effect.) The cortisol in your system was an automatic response; you didn’t consciously make that choice, but what you can consciously do is decide how you’re going to respond to that anxiety/stress trigger. That’s the first part of the two-fold process: decision making.
The second half is doing something with that cortisol, i.e. your anxiety or stress. This is known as your coping mechanism. If you chose to panic and run, there you go. You exerted your energy and “released” that cortisol through movement. If you chose to take a deep breath and remain calm, that cortisol isn’t going to go anywhere without proper encouragement. It will remain in your system until you do something with it.
For me, I need active movement to release my stresses and anxieties. When I’m at my peak stress-levels, I deep clean my house Marie Kondo style. For others, they need a visual or auditory outlet such as playing video games or listening to their favorite music. My husband is a visual processor, so whenever he gets too stressed, he’ll play video games for a few hours to decompress.
That may all seem irrelevant but combining the three together—meditation, breathwork, and movement—helps lessen your stress levels and makes taking your next steps much easier. Let me explain.
When I’m overwhelmed like I was last Friday, taking a few deep breaths helped calm me down and center myself. I was able to get out of my own head stressing about the week ahead and be present in the here-and-now. Once I did that, I was able to clearly make decisions on how to process that stress. Again, because I need some kind of movement to rid myself of built-up cortisol, I completed a few rounds of deep stretches which helped release tension where I store it most in my body. A great way to combine all three in a simple and easy task is yoga, which I absolutely love doing.
Go Outside
Did you know that studies have shown to indicate that forest bathing, i.e. walking through nature, has a significant impact on our mental health, immune functions, and cortisol production? Not only does walking through nature help our mental and physical health, but it also gives us a boost of vitamin D which so many people are lacking nowadays. Whether forest bathing or grounding is your thing, if you’re overwhelmed or stressed, go outside. Take a hike, read a book under a tree, take up the Italian practice of dolce far niente and soak up some sun, or take a nap in a hammock. Whatever you choose, it will help you destress and refuel.
One of my favorite places to go when I’m needing some time in nature is a little spot by the lake near my house. It’s peaceful, quiet, and the perfect place to watch the sunset. Being near a body of water is one of the quickest ways for me to refuel, be it a lake, ocean, pond, pool, or bathtub. And nothing beats kicking off my shoes and walking barefoot along the sandy beaches or grassy hills. (I hate wearing shoes anyway, so this is *chefs kiss* for me.)
Eat a Health Snack & Hydrate
Fruit and hard cheeses are my favorite healthy snack, and when I’m feeling a little fancy, I’ll prepare a charcuterie board and display my favorite fruits, cheeses, nuts, and berries. While fanciness is not a requirement, eating healthy food and hydrating with water or green tea will help replenish your body and make you feel better. Recovering from a long day is an internal process, so making sure to nurture your mind and body are non-negotiables.
Balance is another non-negotiable, so if at the end of the day, you feel like nibbling away at a square of your favorite dark chocolate sea salt caramel, do it! I keep a package of my favorite chocolates stocked for when the occasion strikes that I need to indulge, even just a bit. Plus, dark chocolate has been proven to show significant health benefits such as the potential to lower your risk of hearth disease and stroke, improve cognitive function, boost your mood, and fight free radicals.
Alternative healthy snacks include:
Yogurt with fruit and granola
Bananas with nut butter
Apples slices and cheddar cheese
Citrus fruits
Smoothie packed with fruits and leafy greens
Mixed fruit bowl
Oatmeal with chia seeds, flax seed, and berries
Avocado toast
Stay Off Your Phone
This one is probably the hardest for me because I use my phone so often for work that it’s become a natural reaction to check all my notifications if I can a text, email, or call. As I mentioned before, I have to shut off notifications on the weekend to avoid checking work-related apps, but this is also beneficial for evenings, too. Staying off your phone allows your mind time to unwind and distance yourself from the overstimulation of auto-playing videos, notifications, and the urge to feel like to have to respond to every DM and comment ASAP. Overstimulation is one of the worst feelings to have, and after a long day, it simply adds more chaos to your overworked brain.
If shutting off your notifications doesn’t work, put your phone on Do Not Disturb and leave it in another room away from you. This serves as another “out of sight, out of mind” hack, but you’d be amazed at its results. Some nights through the week, I’ll leave my phone in the bedroom or kitchen—anywhere as long as it’s not where I am. I noticed when I do this, I’m more present and willing to engage with my family and can watch a full movie without getting distracted.
Although I’m speaking specifically about our phones, this also applies to other forms of technology: laptops, iPads, gaming systems, Apple watches, etc. Anything that could steal your attention at the sound of a ping needs to have a time and place to be used, and when you’re trying to relax after a long day is definitely not the time.
Journal
One thing that always helps me is journaling. I’m more of a nighttime journaler than a morning journaler, but it’s because at night, I can brain-dump all the thoughts swirling around my head and go to bed without telling myself, “I’ll remember to do that in the morning.” I sleep better when I get all my thoughts out of my head and onto the page and can start game planning how best to tackle all the ideas and list of responsibilities for the coming day by seeing them in front of me.
There are a ton of pretty, aesthetically pleasing journals out there you can buy all ranging from various price points to best fit your budget, but if a simple college-ruled spiral notebook works for you, do it. Before I got the journal I use now, I used spiral notebooks which was convenient in that it only cost a couple dollars, was lightweight enough to carry around with me, and inconspicuous enough that if someone seen you writing in it, they wouldn’t think twice about it. A few years ago, I “upgraded” to a $10 journal I found at CVS which fits my aesthetic better, is smaller and more compact, and makes me happy when I use it. But again, use whatever works for you!
A lot of people have asked if I use any special prompts when journaling, and the answer is no. There are some journals out there that have daily prompts, and while it may work from some people, I’m not one of them. I feel like the prompts and limited page space prevent me from fully getting the benefits of journaling. When I pick up my favorite G-2 Pilot pen to start writing, I don’t want to be limited, so I use plain, lined paper and brain-dump any thoughts I have. This could range from content ideas for the business, a list of To-Do’s for the following day, how I’m feeling, what’s bothering me, what I’m grateful for, recipes I want to try, etc. The list is endless, and because I use plain paper, I have endless space to use.
Prioritize Yourself
A few weeks ago, my mom and I had a conversation about prioritizing ourselves and whether or not it was a selfish act. My mom, the constant caregiver and people pleaser that she is, couldn’t wrap her mind around not devoting her every waking minute to helping someone else. Me on the other hand said that everyone comes second to me, even my husband and daughter. I know that’s a rather bold statement to make, but I always come back to this example when people ask if I’m completely come crazy.
“But you’re a mom! You child should be your everything!”
“Your poor husband.”
“You should be single if that’s the way you feel.”
Trust me, I’ve heard it all and as an almost-30-year-old, I don’t let comments get to me the way they used to. Now, I respond with this:
If an airplane is spiraling out of control and the oxygen levels are rapidly dropping, you put your own oxygen mask on first. Why? Because if you pass out, who is going to help your child or spouse? Not you! Here’s another example that’s short and to the point: you can’t pour from an empty cup. How do you expect to take care of others if you’re running on “E?” You can’t.
When I prioritize myself in a holistic manner—spiritually, emotionally, physically, mentally—then my relationships flourish. When I’m at my best, my husband gets the most compassionate, attentive and loving version of me. My daughter gets a more present and understanding mom who’s willing to explore and play and make messes for the sake of fun. Taking care of my needs helps me take care of their needs.
A Final Word
Resetting after a long day can be a process, but a few ways to combat that include cutting back on how much time you’re dedicating to your phone and work (outside of normal work hours), making healthier choices with your nutrition and physical activity, journaling or meditating, and getting outside. You may be thinking, “This is too much. I can’t squeeze all of this into my busy schedule.” And my advice? Then don’t. Pick one or two things that you can easily include at the end of your day and watch how your days drastically improve.
You don’t want to pretend to be Wonder Woman or Superman and have your life completely figured out. Spoiler alert: none of us actually do. Having off days happens. Having off weeks, and sometimes even years, is not uncommon. But I’ll encourage you, friend, to take time for yourself. Show love and compassion to yourself because that’s what all this is. This is self-care. This is being attentive to your own needs because you deserve it.
I hope you benefited from some of my tips on how to reset after a long day, and that this article has helped trigger a few ideas of your own. For more wellness and self-care tips, be sure to check out other articles on our blog.
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