How to Show Romance Without Saying "I Love You"

Even though Valentine’s Day has come and gone, for us readers, romance is always in the air. There’s simply nothing better than curling up after a long day and reading about two people slowly falling in love with each other. Reading a romance is one thing, but writing a believable romance can prove to be difficult. How do you show two characters falling in love without it feeling rushed and making it as realistic as possible? Since everyone experiences love differently, we have some general ways to create romance before the characters muster up the courage to say those three beautiful words.

I. Body Language

When you first start a romance between two characters, you want to make their interest obvious but also realistic. One trick I love to use is, essentially, self-inserting myself into the story and thinking about ways that I would show interest in someone with my body language. It should all start with the eyes! Start by showing the two characters stealing small glances, holding eye contact a little too long, or maybe even struggling to hold eye contact because of how nervous they are. Eye contact (or lack thereof) can show the formation of those romantic feelings. Even as the relationship progresses, the longer eye contact, or even the eye contact drifting to the other character’s lips or body, can intensify the romance!

Another body part you can use to show romance between characters is their hands. Innocent touches can seem romantic if the hand stays a little longer than anticipated. Or what about when one character is so excited or scared and grabs the other character’s hand quickly and holds it tight? Beyond that, maybe even accidental touches like hands brushing together while walking and the characters blushing and quickly pulling away can indicate that romance is beginning to form. Once again, as the relationship progresses and the characters become more comfortable with their feelings, they can get bold with their hand placements and intentional touches. You decide the pace, I’m just here to tell you what makes a romance reader swoon.

Little movements that could seem so small and minuscule can have a whole new meaning when you highlight them in your writing. By describing the character’s body language, you’re showing many different feelings without the characters even speaking. We only touched on a couple of examples of how you can show body language, but the truth is you can use any body part (even whole bodies) to show the growing romance between characters. The amazing thing about describing the characters’ body language is that you can change the intensity depending on the type of romance you're aiming for in your writing. More innocent, puppy love instances can have nervous glances and hesitant touches whereas the more intense and even “spicy” romances can have heavier touching and bold body language. Your level of intensity in the romance is up to you, so try exploring the different levels and figure out which one works best for your characters.

II. Thoughtfulness in Actions

Some of the most romantic moments are when a character does something for another person because of the pure love and adoration they feel for them. It can be something as serious as sacrificing themselves to save their lover, or even something as small as bringing them dinner because they knew their person had to work late at the office. When you’re trying to build the romance without explicitly saying, “Yeah, these two characters love each other,” their actions are extremely important. You want to be sure that you’re building a realistic and loving relationship, and if the actions aren’t building up to that profession of love, then it’s not going to be believable. If the audience barely sees any thoughtfulness between the two characters, how are they going to believe that those two genuinely love each other?

To avoid that, you can show the two characters depending on one another every now and then. Show them going out of their way to do something for their future spouse that may be big or small, but meaningful all the same. If it's a Young Adult novel, you could have one character skip out on an event with their friends to go comfort the other character who is having a tough week. On the other hand, if it’s a fantasy romance, you could have one character sell a family heirloom in order to help the other character continue their quest. These are very broad examples, but you can tailor them to whatever plot your novel has. Besides, the audience will love to see their favorite couple sharing heartfelt moments like these.

Try to deliberately put the characters in situations together that allow them to take actions that showcase their personal feelings. Have you ever heard of the “one-bed trope?” It’s a scenario where the protagonist and love interest end up in a position where their room only has one bed, leaving them to decide what to do. Will one character be chivalrous and offer to sleep on the floor? Or is one of the characters super flirty and insists on sharing the bed? This is only one common example of putting the characters in a position to have their actions speak louder than their words. Sprinkling scenarios like this throughout your novel can show the audience the blossoming romance and make their relationship believable and even relatable.

III. Thoughtfulness in Words

The goal here is to show romance without the characters blatantly saying their feelings. However, there are still romantic words that the characters can say that may not be direct feelings, but still just as romantic. This goes hand-in-hand with thoughtful actions as well, as you’ll have to intentionally put your characters in positions to say thoughtful things like these. Since these words aren’t expressions of feelings, they may not seem romantic without context, but with the context of a blossoming romance, they are extremely impactful. For instance, having one of the characters text the other something like: “Let me know when you make it home safe,” after they hung out could indicate how much they care for that person.

Some other examples could be having the characters say small things like: “I missed you today,” or “The party would’ve been way better if you were there.” These may seem like friendly gestures on their own, simple and kind things one would say to their friend. However, mixing this with other romantic components can intensify these words. If the audience is already catching on to the budding romance, then these small words (and even the character’s reactions to hearing them like blushing, looking away, smiling, etc.) could have a greater impact on the audience.

“Words of Affirmation” is its own love language for a reason! Having the characters remind each other of how they care for them, even in small ways, is a surefire way to get the readers on that ship. The big declaration of love is always beautiful and something that the readers look forward to, but the thoughtful words really build that romantic tension to make the declaration more meaningful. Having the characters express how much they enjoy each other's company, how they miss hanging out, or having them reminisce on past shared experiences are all great ways to build up that beautiful relationship.

IV. Show the Feels

When you’re writing your romance novel, you’re doing it from one (or multiple) character’s perspectives. Regardless of whether you stick to the protagonist’s point of view or switch it up occasionally, you should be showcasing the inner dialogue of your characters, right?

Highlighting your character’s inner thoughts and feelings is essential in all writing, but most especially when trying to create a perfect romance. The reader can follow the relationship’s progression, seeing how the character’s thoughts and feelings towards a person can change over time. Maybe you’re trying out an enemies-to-lovers story, so the inner thoughts of the character would be almost entirely different at the beginning of the story than at the end. For example, the protagonist will go from absolutely despising being in the presence of this person, but over time they notice how cute that person’s smile is, how it’s so adorable how they snort when they laugh, how their confident walk makes a blush come to their cheeks and… oh… now they have a massive crush on this person.

All of this information would be impossible to see without exploring the inner thoughts of the characters. Don’t be afraid to give your readers the inside scoop since this can make a romance novel much more interesting. They can know that there are feelings on the side of one character, but what about the love interest? Do they have the same feelings? This adds a will they/won’t they element to your story that’s pretty irresistible to romance lovers.

You can choose how much the reader gets to know and how long it takes for the reader - and character - to notice these feelings surfacing. You can drag it out for almost an entire book, have the character notice early on, or even spice it up and give the main character multiple partners to choose from. The enemies-to-lovers trope is just one example, but you can use your character’s thoughts and feelings to highlight any type of relationship dynamic. The fun thing about writing is that it’s literally your world, and the characters are just living in it!

Before you Go...

Remember to not take yourself too seriously and have fun with your writing. One of the most important things is that you create a story that you genuinely love and enjoyed writing. Romance is one of the most fun to read and write! There are so many dynamics and tropes to explore and you can create something absolutely beautiful that you're proud of. Make a realistic love story, one that takes place in a whole other galaxy, or go the YA route with an ode to The Hunger Games. No matter what you decide, following some of these tips can lead you to write a divine romance. Now go pop open a bottle of wine (or apple cider if you'd prefer), curl up with a soft, fuzzy blanket and your laptop, and get your romance on!